'FIRST LADY' OR 'LABSKY'

By Philip M. Lustre Jr. 

IT was a quiet 2017 post on Facebook that sought the netizens’ opinion on how Honey Avancena, the presidential live-in partner, would be appropriately addressed. I didn’t know my post would stir a hornet’s nest, when a plethora of varied opinions came in to form the thread of my post.

Since Ms. Avancena has been visible in several state functions and since she has become the private nurse of the ailing but moody Rodrigo Duterte, I felt it would apt to discuss on what title she would carry. Calling her first lady would be inappropriate since the whole world knows that she and Duterte are not legally married.

Calling her the presidential common-law wife sounds grinding to the ears. Lawyer Lorna Kapunan earlier explained before a court of law that a common-law wife does not exist. It's fiction. It’s a mere euphemism for a mistress, or paramour. This was something I said on the thread of my earlier post.

Since I wrote the post, I had the first crack to give my opinion. I prefer to call her “presidential companion.” It sounds neutral and does not carry any burden. Other netizens suggest other titles. Eunice Barbara Novio, a Thailand-based writer and teacher, prefers “presidential consort,” which is also acceptable.

Columnist Mackoy Villaroman, blogger and opinion writer Belinda Olivares Cunanan, Dr. Emmanuel Lallana, a UP-based academic, and journalist Michael Alunan suggest separately the official title of “presidential partner.”

Philippine Daily Inquirer features writer Cathy Canares-Yamsuan proposes “de facto first lady,” citing the case of Valerie Trierweller who was called by French media by that title when she was living with President Francois Hollande.

But other came out with amusing titles, mostly irreverent. Writer Beting Dolor Laygo gives the title of “first mistress,” while writer and journalism teacher Mike Suarez proposes “presidential mistress,” which he justifies by taking mistress in its proper context, not the pejorative one we know today.

Netizen Eduardo del Rosario Jr. prefers “presidential live-in partner.” At least four netizens, including Marivic Agbayani, suggest “presidential jowa,” which sounds unappealing to the ears. High school batch mate Cecile Agobian mentions “presidential querida,” which means beloved in Portuguese.

Then, the purist, or prudish, give what appear to be mere alliterative rants: “kabit,” “kerida,” “kalunya,” “kulasisi,” and “kalapati” – words all starting with the letter k. They are too extreme, I told myself. A lawyer friend uses the phrase “toy girl.” No, please.

Others give amusing titles. Hataw publisher proposes “presidential love”; netizen and photography buff Chinggoy Castro, “significant other’; desk editor Julie Javellana Santos, “presidential concubine,” and Sybil Jane Pena, a medical doctor, “second lady.”

Netizen Marivic Agbayani proposes a nickname for her – “Messy,” which is a takeoff from “Missy,” the nickname of Lucy Mercer, US President Franklin Roosevelt’s social secretary and alleged lover. Missy served as hostess in the White House in the absence of first lady Eleanor Roosevelt.

Former bureaucrat Demaree Raval gives “current housemate,” writer Teddy Montelibano, “presidential syota”; high school batchmate Jun Sibug, “presidential kibitzer”; Ed Zafra, “first lady-in-waiting”; Evelyn Grimares Gonzales, “domestic partner”; Ivy Lisa Mendoza, “pambansang Kabitenya”; and Ernest Famatigan, “ex-future first lady.”

Jun Urbano, popularly known as Mr. Shooli,” could not help but express his compassion for Ms. Avancena, saying she does not deserves those negative comments. “But that goes with the territory,” he says.

For my part, I could not help but get a little humorous. I see humor as a weapon to keep my sanity intact in these trying times. I am about to change my mind, as I now prefer to call her a title proposed by witty People Journal’s columnist Mario Fetalino: “Labsky.”

But a lady friend cautions me that it’s a title that does not sound funny at all. It sounds as if she is a crossbreed of Labrador and Japanese Spitz dogs. There, it goes.